I saw it again-a flyer in a local business advertising an upcoming “Chinese Auction.” I just shook my head and thought ‘when will we ever get it right?’ My daughter-born in China-wanted to know who was being auctioned. She was afraid that it was a child that someone no longer wanted!

Yikes! Who knew that language that we take for granted and shrug off as political correctness run amok could have such an impact on a child.

Remember when we routinuely used expressions like “Mexican stand off”, “Indian Giver” without giving it a second thought? Did any of us realize that the term “Dutch treat” was coined because someone thought the Dutch were cheap! Remember when sitting cross-legged on the ground was called sitting like an Indian?”

We don’t hear many of these deragatory and insulting comments-kids in schools today sit like a pretzel or criss cross applesauce. But still we use deragatory language unconsciously all the time. It is hard to change old habits. Many of us are not conviced it is a big deal. Of course, those that think it isn’t a big deal probably aren’t in the group that is being derided.

So, today I am roaming around town taking down the signs for the “Chinese Auction” and replacing them with new flyers eliminates the word “Chinese”. Some of you may think I am over-reacting, but then again, maybe your child wasn’t afraid that she was going to be auctioned off. Believe me, that would change your tune in a heartbeat.

Are you conscious of your language (and I don’t just mean four-letter words) and the impact they have on children? What are you going to do today to make sure you are part of the solution of preventing bias and later bullying and not part of the problem.

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I’ve learned that one of the best ways to fight racism and bias in my family is to introduce diverse and culturally interesting things into our daily routine. One of the easiest ways for us is food.

Dumplings are found in nearly every culture-and I have never met a dumpling I didn’t like! We stumbled on this SIMPLE recipe for mandu (Korean Dumplings) and thought I would share it.

Ingredients:
1 lb chop meat
1 stalk scallion-chopped
1/2 head Chinese cabbage-chopped
1/2 tsp. sesame oil
3 tsp soy sauce
2 eggs, beaten
1 package mandu or wonton skins
vegetable oil

Directions:
Dice all of the vegetables and mix with the meat.
Add soy sauce and sesame oil.
Put 1/2 tsp of the mixture in the center of the mandu or wonton skin
Coat the edge with beaten egg
Fold to seal edges and pan fry in vegetable oil until golden brown

Now, I don’t believe that eating dumplings is going to cure bias and it effects-but it can’t hurt, can it?

Summer vacation has arrived at my house and the words “I’m bored” have already escaped my seven-year olds lips. To make matters worse, most of the schools in the area are still in session and none of the summer activities have started-not that it matters. My daughter has adamantly and steadfastly refused to go to camp for the summer. She wants a babysitter (of course, what she really wants is for me to spend the summer with her as her entertainment director-which just ain’t gonna happen!). So, I got her a babysitter.

Back to the babysitter saga. I think I interviewed 15 or 20 college age girls. Not one of them was a ‘doer’-someone who could keep a bright and energetic seven year old out of my office. They didn’t bike, swim, play soccer. They didn’t like board games, reading or going to the library. They did like to get their nails done and play inside. I was beginning to get discouraged. Would I ever find someone who would keep my child safe while keeping her busy?

Then along came Daniel. That’s right, Daniel-a 21 year-old college student-and yes, he is male.
And yes, he is great!

When my mother heard the news she was aghast-’a boy, what is wrong with him that he wants to babysit.’ She didn’t seem to hear the part about his great references and that he was going into elementary school teaching. She could only focus on his sex! In her mind, boys should not be babysitters and if they were they must be pedophiles.

Talk about bias-or yet another ‘ism’ and right under my nose.

My daughter ‘graduated’ from second grade today. It was a lovely occasion. As I sat with the other parents at the poolside graduation party we reminisced about the school year that had just ended. As we chatted, one of the children-the only black person in the class-was reprimanded by the lifeguard. One of the parents shrugged his shoulders and said, “I knew it would Samuel who got into trouble-you know how these people are.”

These people? Just who were these people? Were ‘these people’ black people? Were they young people? Were they boy people? Second grade people? Or people not like him? More importantly how did we get from one kid’s behavior to these people?

I was horrified by his statement and his attitude and I contemplated ignoring him-after all, I was enjoying a rare afternoon out of the office. But I knew that I couldn’t. I don’t think we can pick and choose when and if we are going to fight racism. We either do it-or we don’t. So, I did-and it felt good.

Later, when my daughter got in the car she said to me, “I liked the way you stood up for Samuel. It made me sure that you would stick up for me-you know that I am a person of color, too.”

I learned a great lesson today. You can talk about the issues like racism, but it doesn’t count until your kid sees or hears you take a stand against racist behavior.

Today I put my money where my mouth is….and I hit the jackpot.

What would you have done?

Over the weekend, I went to see my cousin’s daughter in her first Off Off Broadway play-a satire, mocking Italian-Americans from New York. The play was written and directed by an Italian-American and several of the cast members were Italian-American. Since I am an Italian-American from New York, I suppose they thought I would laugh at jokes–instead I was thinking about the line between satire and racism and when does satire cross the line into racism-if it does.

Do we use satire to hide racism? Is it satire if we pick fun at members of our own racial, ethnic or cultural group and racism if we direct comments and behavior toward another group?

I looked up the definitions of racism and satire and here is what I found–satire is a literally tone used to ridicule or make fun of human vices or weakness. Many definitions state that in order for it to be satire the intent of the ridicule is to correct or change the subject of the satiric attack. Most definitions assert that the satiric attack is ‘witty’ and implicitly constructive.

Racism, as defined by the Oxford English Dictionary, is “a belief that all members of each race possess characteristics or abilities specific to that race-especially to distinguish superiority or inferiority vis a vis other races.” The Merriam-Webster’s Webster’s Dictionary adds racism “is a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities. The Macquarie Dictionary adds that races have distinctive characteristics which determine their respective cultures. All of the definitions incorporate the idea that one’s own race is superior and has the right to rule or dominate others.

I guess I don’t really see the difference between racism and satire. Satire does seem like a license to promote racism. The fact that satire is supposed to ‘correct’ something seems preposterous and pompous.

No, I didn’t laugh at the jokes mocking Italian-Americans. Maybe they were just not funny. Or maybe, the differences between satire and racism are just too close to call and I would rather err of the side of caution.

Whatever the reason, I would encourage you to look at how you look at satire-and make sure it really isn’t racism.

Cheers, Deb

On this blog we are going to focus on discussing easy-to-implement strategies to expose children to diverse people and ideas-and its benefits. Decades of social science research has show us that children who are exposed to a wide variety of people and ideas are far less likely to become biased-or worse-and are less likely to tolerate bullying behavior in any form.

Kids who have the ability to interact successfully with all kinds of people can face the 21st Century with confidence and skills that will serve them a lifetime.