I confess, I love to read with my daughter before she goes to sleep. We do it every night (whether she wants to or not!).

Some of our favorite books are from The Magic Treehouse series by Mary Pope Osborne. We love traveling with Jack and Annie as the explore everything from the first Olympic Games to meals with lions and buffalo. We can almost hear the wind whooshing through the tree-house as they leave on their adventure and breathe a sign of relief when they arrive safely back in Pennsylvania.

These books are great for beginning readers and to read together. They allow the reader to experience history, nature, and other real life adventures through the eyes of contemporary kids. The juxtaposition of contemporary characters against historical events has been a great way to engage children and then even expand the conversation into a wonderful ‘teachable moment’.

The series also help children experience other cultures and traditions. For example in Hour of the Olympics, Jack and Annie are surprised to learn that girls can’t attend or participate in the Olympics. The inevitable “why” that kids will ask is an opportunity to talk about womens role in history and contemporary society-and to reinforce that boys and girls can do anything they set their minds to.

So, enjoy these books and let me know what interesting questions or observations that your kids come up with.

With Respect,
Deb

Just when we were all excited about the way Binky Barnes’s family expansion was handled on PBS, another video surfaces on YouTube. You don’t even what to see what was behind door number two.

Someone thought it was funny to present adoption from China as a shopping trip-pick the one you want, wrap her up and bring her home. The video came complete with images of girls from China in plastic shopping bags. Not only was the video in horrendously bad taste, it was just plain stupid.

Of course, those in the adoption community were shocked and dismayed at the portrayal of adoption, but the damage goes far deeper than families formed by adoption.

While Binky Barnes was likely watched by many people, the video on YouTube had the opportunity to travel worldwide. It is likely that many more people were able to see the YouTube video than watched the Arthur episode.

In 30 seconds-or even from the opening shot, the YouTube video did more damage to adoption than we have seen in a long time. It is frustrating, of course, that just as we think we are making progress, something devastating happens that makes us shake our collective heads in bewilderment. Some people will give up, thinking that they can’t do anything about it. Others will become militant and angry, determined to have the world see their ‘correct’ point of view. Still others, will hunker down, regroup and continue to raise awarness and consciouness that bias-and clearly the YouTube video was biased-is just not acceptable in the 21st Century.

While the target of this YouTube video was adoption and adoption from China in particular, the next target could be ANY group, or anyone who is ‘different’. The target of the next attack could be your family, your child, your community.

The 9/11 attacks were caused in part by bias against Americans-that is a very visible reminder of the consequences of bias.

It is our job to stop biases before they escalate-to bullying, to violence or worse.

What course of action will you take in your home today?

With Respect,
Deb

Finally, families formed through adoption have something to cheer about in the media. For the first time in recent memory a media vehicle has hit on the facts and emotions about adoption on the nose!

Congratulations are in order to the team, lead by Executive Producer Pierre Valette, who created the Arthur episodes following Binky Barnes and his family as they expand their family with the adoption of a baby girl from China. This is one of the first shows featuring adoption that wasn’t demeaning or pandering. In fact, reviews indicate just the opposite-the show was able to accurately portray some of the feelings that a waiting sibling might have when facing the addition of a new family member. Binky Barnes’s emotions run the gamete from excitement to dismay-and fear of getting the dreaded inoculations needed to travel to China to meet his sister.

This episode-and its sequel go a long way in normalizing adoption bringing it out of the shadows and exposing children and their parents to family formation in the real world. Attention is even paid to proper adoption language (probably for the first time in TV history). This show is a far cry from other adoption-related shows including the infamous Who’s Your Daddy which served only to infuriate families all over the country and exploit the participants.

Thank you Pierre Valette, the entire team and the folks at PBS for making this happen. We just took a giant step in leveling the playing field for families formed by adoption.

With respect,
Deb

The other night my mother was related a story about a gal in her office who had recently found her dream house. The woman is black.

The woman told my mother that she and her family loved the house,but were concerned that

there were so many Mexicans

in the neigborhood. My mother was shocked that a black person could be biased. She thought bigotry and racism were the purvey of Caucasians.

Of course, we know intellectually that everyone, everywhere has biases, but sometimes it seems that it is only white people who are biased (nothing like a little supremacy complex). That is simply not true-we just don’t hear about it or think about it.

There seems to be a racial hierarchy with whites a the top of the pyramid. Second in line seem to Asians (after all they are all bright and hard-working). Black and Hispanic people pull in behind Asians. Given the demographic coming attractions where white population decreases rapidly against the rise in non-white populations, this seems to be incredibly stupid.

My child is a child of color. Some people will actually say (or intimate) that ‘at least she isn’t black’. When I pick myself up off of the floor, I still have to bite my tongue, but what the heck is that all about?

If adults are surprised that all people are biased and if we are using a racial ‘rating system’ to determine one’s status in society then you can be sure that kids are getting that message loud and clear.

So ask yourself if you have any hierarchical racial system that you are unconsciously transferring to your children. You might want to consider putting a stop to that. You aren’t doing your kids any favors. Kids need to be cognizant that everyone deserves to be judged based on his or her strengths and weakness, not by any antiquated and biased points of view that seep out of the most well-meaning parents.

Unfortunately, racism, like poverty, violence and other societal ills truly cuts across all boundaries. It does seem sad that some of the things that we all share are so negative, while the positive things take a back seat. Today’s challenge is to become aware of how we ‘rate’ people and start to look at how we can keep it to ourselves.

Like any issue, recognition that there is an issue is the first step!

With respect,
Deb

September is National Hispanic Heritage and National Literacy Month. This combination is a great opportunity to expose your kids to Hispanic culture and encourage them to read.

Each Thursday in September, the books highlighted showcase Hispanic culture-and are personal favorites.

Enjoy, The Day It Snowed Tortillas / El Dia Que Nevaron Tortillas, Folktales told in Spanish and English-we did.

Books are an easy, fun and inexpensive way to give your children some of the tools they need to respect, celebrate and appreciate cultures, choices and abilities.

For a few books with a bit broader cultural context try these:

With Respect:
Deb

From bad to worse!

Some people just don’t get it-or are so interested in making money that they don’t care if they profit by abusing others.

CBS joins the rarefied crowd of those that ‘don’t get it’. As difficult as it is to believe, they replaced the controversial Don Imus with an even more (is it even possible) controversial racist, sexist and ethnocentric ’shock jock’.

Yep! They did it again when they announced that Craig Carton who’s history includes, Operation Rat a Rat/La Cucha Gotcha-a ‘game’ to turn in undocumented immigrants, ‘outing’ politicians THOUGHT to be gay and mocking Asians by mimicking accents and traditions.

To be fair, Carton wasn’t always a jerk. He has done sports formatted programs across the country and has successfully increased ratings in many of the markets he broadcast in. And like Imus, he has generously supported children’s charities. CBS is pairing him with ex-football player Boomer Esiason-who one can only hope will be the voice of reason.

CBS must think that-despite the Imus flap that there is a market for sexist, racist and other offensive programming. It is up to us to convince them that we don’t agree. This is the time to step up to the plate and vote with your pocketbook. Don’t listen to Carton’s show, don’t support the advertisers that support the show. Make your feelings about this type of programming known in the only way that CBS will respond to. We need to hit them in the pocketbook.

If you are serious about raising great kids, the example you set by fighting bias, racism etc will be the best thing that you do. They will know that you don’t just talk about changing things-you do something. That is more powerful than anything else you can do.

With respect
Deb

I am fortunate to live in a beautiful area of the United States, surrounded by beautiful ocean beaches and calm bays. It is an area that is frequented by the ‘rich and famous’ (who don’t drop by for a bar-b-que, in case you are wondering). In the summer, our mellow community is not so mellow. The beaches are crowded,parking impossible, the stores raise their prices for the ‘city’ people, there is a lot of traffic and tables at restaurants are hard to come by. Tempers are short-I guess when you are paying $300,000 to rent a beach house for a month, you have high expectations. The locals take it in stride, counting down the days until Labor Day and we get our communities back.

The summer visitors, on the other hand, are trying to squeeze in the last bit of fun before they head back to work and school. When the weather is magnificent, the pursuit of fun is even more frenetic.

We were fortunate to go to the beach twice this weekend-once on Saturday:

And again on Monday:

So, I was relaxed and happy coming into this week, hoping to get lots of work done and get my daughter ready for school…

With respect
Deb

I spent most of yesterday in technology hell!

It was ugly-but not as bad as these true computer questions collected from different sources:

1. Who do I remove a banana shoved in the optical drive?

2. My laptop was run over by a bus. How long will it take for you to fix?

3. You mean that pop-out tray is not a cup holder.

4. I dropped my cell phone in my kid’s chocolate milk and it got sticky, so I washed it in the sink. Then it was wet and I put it in the oven to dry. Now it doesn’t work and I can’t figure out why.

5.My floppy disk that won’t stay in the disk drive, so I used Superglue to keep it in the drive.

Unfortunately, technology sometimes gets the better of us. But, not to worry, there is always someone who is less technical than you!

Have a great Labor Day Weekend (in the US). I will be back on Tuesday.

With Respect,
Deb

Kids all over the country are counting down the last days of summer-and so are their parents albeit for different reasons!

160,000 kids every day stay home due to bullying and 1 out of three kids in the US are effected by bullying-as victim, as onlooker or as a bully. And those are only the ones we know about.

Many bullying incidents take place out of the watchful eyes of parents and teacher-on the bus, on the playground and other places that kids frequent with some independence.

Bully on the Bus by Carl Bosch offers kids from 6-9 the opportunity to help a boy who is bullied on the school bus. The story invites the reader to weigh alternative and then explore the consequences of their choices. Not only are the kids actively engaged in the book, it is a great opportunity to get kids to talk about their experiences with bullies in a non-threatening, non-tattle-tale way.

In a world where bullying is at epidemic proportions and the consequences can be unbearable violence, we have to intervene before there is a problem. The old adage about sticks and stones has changed to sticks and stones can break your bones, and names can hurt you.

With respect
Deb

Eyes are the window of the soul.

And we also look at a person’s eyes and immediately assess what their race is. We automatically assume that a person with almond-shaped eyes is Asian. (By the way, rarely to Asians describe their eyes as almond-shaped. When asked the difference between their eyes and others, they are much more likely to refer to differences in color.)

Sometimes, Asian kids are teased because they have almond-shaped eyes. One Chinese woman recently told me that almond-shaped eyes are considered a sign of beauty as they are the same shape of the phoenix!

But looks can be deceiving.

Look carefully at Anjelina Jolie’s and Ben Affleck’s eyes. They are all beautifully almond-shaped-and I don’t think any of them are Asian!

The ‘take away’ for our kids is ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’ or a person by the way they look. We want our kids to be able to appreciate each other. In
Families are Forever, Rain sums it up when she says,”I could see we looked different…..Our eyes were different, but we could both see. Our lips were different but we could both smile.”

So before you or your kids jump to conclusions, take a step back and remember what Rain said. You can’t go wrong that way.

With Respect,
Deb